im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
