My brain says no but my pants say off.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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