Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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