i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
