party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i came on her dog
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
