I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
