Dual....:-)
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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