I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize