what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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