Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
