I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
