I CAN MOONWALK!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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