But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
