I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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