I think I died a long time ago.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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