New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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