So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
