You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
