And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
