so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
