She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
