My brain says no but my pants say off.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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