Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
