I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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