Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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