you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
