So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
