we have pet lesbian snakes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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