I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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