When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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