it wasn't lemon gatorade
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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