We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
