Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
