Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
