I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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