I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Randomize
