when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
