Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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