so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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