Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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