You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
