So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
