I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
