My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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