I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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