the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Randomize
