it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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