In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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