i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
