it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
