Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
