u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?