I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.