Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize