with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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