my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
