I cockslap morals
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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