I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
