Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Oh god it's open bar.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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