um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
