Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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