I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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