areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
