I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
