Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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