everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my weed a kiss
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize